Rejection, which could have been my shortest title if I didn't say this

The Great thing about being used

is you know your not useless

you should know I over-think things

and so assume that I've just gotten blown off

which may 

or may not be true

but that doesn't nessarily 

mean anything

for my plans were just ruined

and a hope that I had 

for a feat yet to be experienced

has diminished

to say it plain and simple

I'm annoyed

and have possibly 

had a small shot to my ego

and just when I was starting to feel good again

hmm... I don't know else to say but this

I hope this isn't what I think

becuase I could really use some confidence at this point in my life.

And Yea... I'm Royally Fucked

I'm glad I don't think that way I used to
once upon a time I thought
that I would be the guy
that girls always dream about

it was foolish to think I was that
because in reality
I hate too much
to be with someone that long

yea, sure, if I was with someone
I'd hold her hand
as long as she could
stand the sweat

and kiss her on her forehead
and cudle more then we fuck
and tell her she's beautiful
more then I say she's hot

I'd write poetry
about the breaths we share
and how it mean more to me then
anything that ever was

I'd be that guy
but that's the problem
because, that's what I'd want to be
not what I am

no, I'm not a jerk
though i pretend to be at times
if it will help someone
from thinking I'm too much

no
in reality
I'm too little in my own head
to be able to stand on two feet

my real problem
is with |xxxx|
I have no idea
and I guess that's the problem

wow, that's really fucked up

In A Certain Sense, All We Want Is Something Real

The sense of touch:
an ability
known only to
the extremities

an under appreciated
and under developed reincarnation
of what it feels like
to know someone

to know touch
and grasp the sensation
is to know
the deepest feeling a body can feel

not superficial
but real
and in reality
with certainty

I'd take this feeling over any other
because of it's solidity
for you can't trust
any other sense

they will deceive you
manipulate you
and mock up
a world made by falsehoods

and in that world
we are are not real
we are a composite
reality

No, the only sense you can trust
is touch
for only touch
show's true decay