I'm In Cahoots With The Problems I've Become

I have a problem with confront
I can't confess my feelings
especially one of distaste
and especailly to people i care about

I wish I did
quite honestly
but therein lies a problem
that I'm sure some people share

for some reason
it's terrifying
frankly
it's scary as shit

to man up
speak from your heart, not lie
which is essentailly a way of
protecting yourself

if you dismiss words
that arn't my own
then it's no big deal
they we're never a part of me

but to share my own
is to let you into my heart
in a way which would make you want to hurt it
and that's just too big a risk to take

so tell me what to do
though I have secrets
they are hidden
from my eyes too

I sometimes wonder
if i even understand a word I say
probably not
and why would I

give me a reason
a meaning for the seasons
an apologestic systematic
excape from my own self