I'm In Cahoots With The Problems I've Become

I have a problem with confront
I can't confess my feelings
especially one of distaste
and especailly to people i care about

I wish I did
quite honestly
but therein lies a problem
that I'm sure some people share

for some reason
it's terrifying
frankly
it's scary as shit

to man up
speak from your heart, not lie
which is essentailly a way of
protecting yourself

if you dismiss words
that arn't my own
then it's no big deal
they we're never a part of me

but to share my own
is to let you into my heart
in a way which would make you want to hurt it
and that's just too big a risk to take

so tell me what to do
though I have secrets
they are hidden
from my eyes too

I sometimes wonder
if i even understand a word I say
probably not
and why would I

give me a reason
a meaning for the seasons
an apologestic systematic
excape from my own self

A Problematic Response to an Undeserving Situation

Tell me a secret

something that i don't know

because if all of this time

you've been telling the truth

then I have alot of thinking to do


I'll admit I am a overly trusting person

or at least

would be if I actually believed a word

anyone said


But I play the games

force my famous fake smile

on anyone and everyone

who's unfortunate enough to give me the time of day


Let's face it

It would make a lot more sense

if everyone hated me

if everyone hated everyone


but they don't

maybe that's just our need for companionship

playing tricks on ourselves

making us think we care when we don't<>

"well darling, I love you

and though that's a lie

I hope it makes you feel better

because you're a much better use of my time"